Bathroom Humor

Part of the sadness of conservative and Republican sex scandals is that the press serves up all the revolting details of matters we would be happier not knowing exist. (Liberals and Democrats are involved in the same dark deeds, but it is not considered a scandal and so we are spared the details.) But Mark Steyn's "A Measure of Hypocrisy" (New York Sun, Sept. 4, 2007) brings out the hilarious absurdities of the matter.

Sergeant Dave Karsnia is paid by the police department to sit in a stall in the men's room all day, like a spider waiting for the flies. The Baron von Richthoven of the Minneapolis Bathroom Patrol has notched up a phenomenal number of kills and knows what to look for -- the tapping foot in the adjoining stall, a hand signal under the divider. Did you know that tapping your foot in a bathroom was a recognized indicator that a criminal act is about to occur? Don't take your i-Pod in with you!

As an aside, Steyn adds this reflection on public restrooms:

As it happens, I passed by the very same men's room at the Lindbergh Terminal only a couple of months ago. I didn't go in, however. My general philosophy on public restrooms was summed up by the late Derek Jackson, the Oxford professor and jockey, in his advice to a Frenchman about to visit Britain. "Never go to a public lavatory in London," warned Professor Jackson. "I always pee in the street. You may be fined a few pounds for committing a nuisance, but in a public lavatory you risk two years in prison because a policeman in plain clothes says you smiled at him."

The rest you really must read for yourself.